Barry and Alison sat opposite me with despair on their faces. Alison's face was anxious and Barry kept running his hands through his hair. These two parents had reached their wit's end! They told me how they had read all the parenting books and tried to do everything 'right' - yet their child, Brent, seemed to be out of control.
Their story was a familiar one. Brent was their second child. Their daughter, Gail, was an easy child and they thought they had the 'parenting thing' all worked out. Until Brent. Brent was a colicky baby, cried a lot and did not sleep well from the start. As soon as he could walk, the trouble started. He did not listen, nor did he respond to the discipline techniques that worked with Gail. Barry and Alison tried everything,but Brent became more difficult as the years went by. He was disobedient and seemed to delight in doing the opposite of what he was supposed to do.
'It's almost like he is taunting us' said Alison, 'Like he wants a reaction'. Barry told me that Brent was disrespectful to his parents and his teachers. He shouted and banged doors and was openly defiant. Everything was a struggle - and he was only 9 years old!
At school, there were major problems. Academically, Brent did well in arithmetic and math, but hated reading. He had been for remedial help with his writing, but refused to co-operate with the therapist. His behavior in class was disruptive and he was in trouble almost every day. Brent had difficulty making friends and was always getting into fights. The school was requesting that he be put on prescription medication.
'We have done our research and really don't want to go down that road until we have tried everything' said Barry. Alison agreed: 'I love my son and I know there must be a way to reach him, before it is too late. I've seen this before with my brother and the drugs they prescribed made him worse.'
This was a couple that checked all the 'good parent' boxes. They spent time with their children, lived a healthy lifestyle, tried to be consistent and loved their children dearly. Their daughter, Gail, thrived on their parenting. Yet Brent was going from bad to worse - and no-one seemed to be able to explain why!
It's not your fault
'We need to know what we are doing wrong' said Alison.
I had done a thorough assessment and, unless I had missed something, the problem was not the parents. Like all parents, Barry and Alison were not perfect. They made mistakes. Sometimes they yelled. Once or twice they had argued in front of the children after a stressful day. Yet this did not explain Brent's behavior. 'It's not your fault' I told them 'and it's not Brent's fault either.' 'This is a situation that we have and we all have to try our best to help your son'.
The relief on their faces was clearly visible.
The plan of action
'The first thing we have to do', I told them, 'is to calm Brent down and try to get his mood into balance. That will help to make him more manageable and easier to reason with - so that when you interact with him, everything will not be about conflict and fighting.' I recommended that we start with the following remedies that have helped many children like Brent:
Cali-Brate - an herbal remedy to support brain balance and an even mood. I explained to Barry and Alison that this natural remedy would take about 4 - 6 weeks to reach therapeutic effect but that they should progressively see Brent becoming calmer and his temper should subside.
Behavior-Rite - a natural homeopathic medicine to reduce oppositional behavior and encourage a reasonable attitude in children.
I asked Barry and Alison to administer these remedies every day for a month and scheduled a follow up appointment. I was hoping that once Brent's mood and argumentative nature had settled, I could then begin to help Barry and Alison start with some management techniques.
Two very different parents came to see me a month later. They told me that were beginning to see changes in Brent. He smiled more and Alison was especially pleased that he had begun to show affection towards her, which was a first! Although he was still having his 'off days', he was definitely less angry and moody and had made a friend at school. His teacher had noticed a difference and he was not in trouble at school all the time. However, although she could see he was trying, Brent was still having difficulty sitting still in class and could not stay on task, usually failing to complete his work on time. Although he worked well on his math tasks, she noticed that when it came to reading or other verbal tasks, Brent tried to avoid the work by playing the 'clown' and disrupting the class.
Now that we had Brent's mood under control and he was being more co-operative, I added our two concentration remedies - Focus Formula and BrightSpark - to help him concentrate in class and to act as a brain tonic.
Prior to this, Brent was too angry, worked up and 'all over the place' to benefit from anything! He was never going to be an easy child, but now that his mood was more balanced and he was more reasonable, we could work on parenting skills that would have a better chance of success. Barry and Alison were ready to start afresh with Brent!
Please Click Here for a full list of remedies I have formulated for ADHD, concentration, learning, focus, behavior and mood. Remember always - I am here to help if you need advice on these or any other natural medicines. Click Here to Contact Michele